Understanding Emotions....
We live and we learn. This might be the title of a saying, song or poem, but it is also the title of our lives. Our human condition has given us the chance to sense and experience emotions, which are nothing but tools that allow us to grow. Dealing with them is an important part of our learning process and I guess if we have to go through them no matter what, it would be better if we do it conscientiously.
Part of the benefit in understanding where they come from, deals with the possibility to accept them and if necessary, be able to change the way we face our reality.
When emotions knock on our door, they are not always welcome. At times their visit feels uncomfortable, surprising us at a wrong timing. Other times we’d rather be locked up in our basement cave because its presence terrifies us, and we fear losing all type of control. Ironically, we think emotions come from the outside, when the truth is they are part of ourselves, they are inside” our house”.
Are we what we feel? Somehow yes, but we are also our attitudes, thoughts, values, principles, experiences, memories….. everything that builds our identity brick by brick, and to which we can have access from all the different parts of our house. Emotions come and go, just like guests visiting us for a while, and once they have accomplished what they have came to accomplish they simply go away…
There are emotions that are considered to be a problem. They go against us. Fear, anger, guilt are easily seen as enemies we need to fight back. What we often neglect is that when emotions arrive, their main purpose is to give us information. They are like “signs” warning us on what is going on inside our “houses”.
Let us take fear for example, it clearly shows a lack of balance between the “threat” we experience and the “sources” we believe we have. Anger is an emergency sign that goes off when there is frustration, when a desire or expectation cannot be fulfilled.
What we urge to understand is that emotions are not always the best of captains. They do offer a valuable guide of the moment we are in our life, but is not advisable that they take control over us!
When actions are the reflection of our fear, anger or guilt for example, the result can be devastating. A good way to deal with them is by giving a voice to what we are feeling, establishing a sort of a conversation by really making them part of our consciousness.
The trick is to see them not as enemies but as allies, working hand in hand with us, in order to solve the issues they are currently pointing out.
Behind every emotion there is a thought, a particular way to interpret what has happened. But if we discover another meaning to that reality, emotions can also change. If we take anger for instance and analyse the thought behind this feeling towards another person: ”What he has done shows me what a selfish, confusing and incapable person he is, I am never trusting him again!”.
Can we interpret and face this situation from a different perspective?, like: Why is the evidence proving these thoughts? What experiences show me otherwise? Where are these thoughts coming from? Are they limiting or amplifying my perspective?
We need to search for alternatives. We need to make full use of our creative side in order to look at certain situations from different angles! When facing a “obstacle”, remember we are the ones that choose to see it as a failure OR as an opportunity to learn something from it. Whether we choose one or the other, be sure that the emotions attached to them are going to be completely different….
Here is something for you to think about. Choose well………
.
Part of the benefit in understanding where they come from, deals with the possibility to accept them and if necessary, be able to change the way we face our reality.
When emotions knock on our door, they are not always welcome. At times their visit feels uncomfortable, surprising us at a wrong timing. Other times we’d rather be locked up in our basement cave because its presence terrifies us, and we fear losing all type of control. Ironically, we think emotions come from the outside, when the truth is they are part of ourselves, they are inside” our house”.
Are we what we feel? Somehow yes, but we are also our attitudes, thoughts, values, principles, experiences, memories….. everything that builds our identity brick by brick, and to which we can have access from all the different parts of our house. Emotions come and go, just like guests visiting us for a while, and once they have accomplished what they have came to accomplish they simply go away…
There are emotions that are considered to be a problem. They go against us. Fear, anger, guilt are easily seen as enemies we need to fight back. What we often neglect is that when emotions arrive, their main purpose is to give us information. They are like “signs” warning us on what is going on inside our “houses”.
Let us take fear for example, it clearly shows a lack of balance between the “threat” we experience and the “sources” we believe we have. Anger is an emergency sign that goes off when there is frustration, when a desire or expectation cannot be fulfilled.
What we urge to understand is that emotions are not always the best of captains. They do offer a valuable guide of the moment we are in our life, but is not advisable that they take control over us!
When actions are the reflection of our fear, anger or guilt for example, the result can be devastating. A good way to deal with them is by giving a voice to what we are feeling, establishing a sort of a conversation by really making them part of our consciousness.
The trick is to see them not as enemies but as allies, working hand in hand with us, in order to solve the issues they are currently pointing out.
Behind every emotion there is a thought, a particular way to interpret what has happened. But if we discover another meaning to that reality, emotions can also change. If we take anger for instance and analyse the thought behind this feeling towards another person: ”What he has done shows me what a selfish, confusing and incapable person he is, I am never trusting him again!”.
Can we interpret and face this situation from a different perspective?, like: Why is the evidence proving these thoughts? What experiences show me otherwise? Where are these thoughts coming from? Are they limiting or amplifying my perspective?
We need to search for alternatives. We need to make full use of our creative side in order to look at certain situations from different angles! When facing a “obstacle”, remember we are the ones that choose to see it as a failure OR as an opportunity to learn something from it. Whether we choose one or the other, be sure that the emotions attached to them are going to be completely different….
Here is something for you to think about. Choose well………
.